Scattered Writings on Pop Culture and What I Call Life
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Day Five of Hell Week
Exercise:
Energy Trail Run/Walk with Lola Rollerbladed Rocky Point Trail
Food: 2 Sweet and Salty Bars 1 Fruit Source Bar 1 Yogurt 1 Apple 1 Can Passion Peach Juice 1 Can Coke Zero 1 Tuna Wrap w/ Side of Celery 1 Pepperoni Stick Taco Salad and I ate the bowl - topped with a little Salsa and Sour Cream 1.5 Glasses of Diet Pepsi
So through the Hump/Half way mark of Hell Week. I think I am doing pretty good. I am kind of finding a stride and feel fairly motivated this week to keep pushing through. I know I should have a day off in the week somewhere and it is looking like Sunday might be it. The weekend is always the big test to see if I can keep it together.
Exercise Today:
30 Minutes on Elliptical Trainer 5 Minute Brisk Walk on the Treadmill as a cool down at the end of the workout
Medicine Ball:
Crunches Torso Twists Leg Elevated Crunches
Worked the elbows and shoulders with tubing
Not a bad little work out.
What I Ate Today:
1 Yogurt 2 Sweet & Salty Almong Bars 2 Fruit Source Bars 1 Apple 6" Subway Club - left over from Yesterday 2 Pepperoni Sticks 2 Pieces of Pizza - Delissio Thin Crust 1 Can Apple Juice 1 Can Diet Coke - Still tastes like Aluminum
And I am pretty sure that was all. I feel like I ate more and I don't feel hungry thoughout the day.
Three Days Left. Monday morning I am going to weigh in.
3 Sets of 10 of: Medicine Ball Sit Ups Medicine Ball Torso Twists
I ate Today: 1 Sweet and Salty Almond Bar 2 Fruit Source Bars 1 Yogurt 1 Tuna Wrap 7 Celery Sticks 1 Apple 6" Subway Club on Whole Wheat - Mustard instead of Mayo 1 Can Five Alive Passion Peach 1 Litre of Crystal Light 1 Can Coke Zero
Well, you may all be asking what I am doing exactly. Well, I am trying to document what I am doing to lose the weight and also be accountable to all of you. So, if I have a weak moment and want to eat a bag of cheezies or a slurpee, I have to report that to you. I am going to continue to work hard for the rest of this week, see what the results are, and then go from there. I may dial it back a little if necessary.
I have a goal people. Twenty pounds is not just going to fall off by itself before Christmas. It would be nice though.
Day 2
Exercise:
Did the energy trail jog/power walk again. It took about 37:01, a little bit worse than yesterday. My best guess says that the whole thing is in the 3-4 km range. That's my guess.
2.5 Minutes on the Elliptical - I think that was my last try on the machine until I weigh way less
What I Ate Today:
1 Yogurt 2 Sweet n' Salty Granola Bars 1 Fruit Source Bar 1 Apple 1 Werther's Caramel 1 Cheese Bagel 1 Kiwi 1 Big Bowl of Shreddies, 2% Milk 2 Pepperoni Sticks - Sorry J-Mill - they are in the house 1 Can of Five Alive Passion Peach
I think that wraps up today - I am pretty sure. I really should take a note book around with me again. I think I forgot to add a Yogurt and some Goldfish to yesterday's menu as well.
Workout Ball.. Wall Squats Torso Twists Weighted Leg Extensions Push Ups with the Ball
Yesterday I ate:
2 Sweet & Salty Granola Bars 1 Fruit Source Bar 1 Apple 1 Orange 1 Can of Smart Choice Chicken Noodle Soup Tuna Salad Wrap 7 Celery Sticks 2 Pepperoni Stick 8 Stoned Wheat Crackers 1 Can of Five Alive Passionate Peach Juice 1 Can of Coke Zero
I am not sure what it is but I am suffering from a lack of motivation. I can not seem to get myself to work out more than every once in awhile. I am just hovering around 257 but think back to april when I got it down to 242 and am not sure what I can use for motivation to get myself done to that level again.
I watched the Biggest Loser last week and found that to be quite motivating but I just continue on the same path. I have done a pretty good job of cutting out junk food, with the exception of slurpees, and have not done too much fast food, with the expection of a breakfast here and there. Food wise I am probably still a little on the high calorie side, but not too bad.
It is on the exercise side that I am really struggle. I need more stuctured activity. I know Road Hockey is coming up soon so that will be good and I know last year that really help me stay focused. I have been thinking about maybe signing up for some stuff to keep me motivated, like boxing, or martial arts, or even just an exercise class, and that way it is a schedule thing I am supposed to be attending.
I think this is the make-or-break week. I am going to really watch what I eat and exercise really hard for the next week and see what happens and see how I feel. I know if I can just get going to can start to lose some wait. I would like to lose 20 lbs before Christmas. That means about 7 pounds a month.
I mean, if that guy can lose 23 pounds in one week on the Biggest Loser I think I can try to lose 20 pounds in 12 weeks.
So here it goes. The old college try, which I think means endless procrastination.
So starting tomorrow I will give it the old college try.
It's a long way off but I am thinking about being Mario for Halloween. I don't know why. Maybe cause I look like a chubby plumber. Maybe cause I can grow a moustache.
Although I am also putting some thought into being Hawk from the Legion of Doom. I am just not sure and I am sure I will change my mind again. I just hope we have a place to go on Halloween.
It is only 6 weeks away. What am I ever going to do.
I stare back at them, looking for the approval to begin. I feel like a kid who just broke something waiting to catch hell. I shift in my seat. Michael looks back at me and asks plainly, with no expectation of greatness, "So what do you have for us today?"
"Well", I say nervously, shuffling through my folders like a hobo digging through a trash can outside of a Chinese restaurant looking for my note pad, glancing back and forth between the briefcase and the three, "I think I stumbled onto something last night that can really work."
I didn't believe it could really work. I had about as much faith in this idea as I had in time travel or the Cubs winning the World Series.
The older man to the right of Michael clears his throat but says nothing. He just stares right through me like he knows this will be a horrible idea. Like he knows he just wasted 15 minutes of his busy day to listen to my nonsense. My stomach sinks further down, taking all the blood from my face as it goes. I take out my note pad and close my brief case. This is it. I am done for.
"Ok, so there is this family of bears", I start with as much excitement as I can muster. I needed to sell this idea but even I thought it was garbage.
"Bears?", replies Michael with a tone that would crumble Tony Robbins' confidence.
I shift in my seat and swallow down what feels like a ping pong ball covered in peanut butter. Not a good start but it is too late to turn back now.
"Well I have this idea for these Bears, like ten of them, and they all represent feelings and emotions. Like caring and grumpy, love, or the feeling you get on your birthday or from great friends."
I now know I'm finished. I almost feel like I should just stand up and walk out right now. Just stand up, grab everything I own, shake their hands and walk out the door. I continue to spit out the idea like a kid telling his parents that he just brought home a F on his report card, like nothing I can say will ever make up for what I have just done.
"And what do these Bears do?", Michael asks.
"Well, they are like guardian angels trying to help those who need it."
"So, they have wings and are sent on missions by God?" Michael says with skepticism.
"We are not in the business of doing religious television son", says the older man.
I have to think quickly. "Well they are not from heaven or sent by God."
"Where are they from then?"
And without warning, even when my sensibilities are trying to hold me back from saying it like Mr. T not wanting to get on a plane, I say it. "They live in Care-a-Lot and go out to help those in need, on Caring Missions, to help those in trouble, usually kids. They would travel down to earth in cloud cars or slide down the rainbow."
I said it. Then I almost threw up. I just stared in their faces waiting for them to just start laughing or grumbling. I just stared at them like they were the bullies who held the last smartie and I was the fat kid. I wanted them to give me the smartie. My eyes begged for that smartie.
I couldn't take the silence and I just kept going. "And they have Star and Heart buddies that are like the caring thermometer and tell the Care Bears when there is trouble and they sit around a table shaped like a heart and..."
"Hold on."
I was interrupted by Michael who had an inquisitive look in his eyes like he was playing 20 Questions and was one question away from guessing the answer, "How do these so-called-bears fight evil. Like with guns, knifes, maybe Ninja like silent assassin skills?"
"Well," I replied. I thought this answer was going to destroy this whole idea and after I was so close. "Well, first they try and talk it out, but if things look really bad then they all line-up and countdown to the Care Bear Stare."
"They stare? Like an old person would scowl at overpriced milk?"
"No. They would all line up and shoot rainbows out of their chests and it would chase the bad things away."
I finished that last sentence and realized that I just said the most ridiculous thing I have ever said in my life. I sat there and they all looked back at me and smiled.
What the hell just happened? I can't believe they like this!
--The End--
That is how I envisioned the birth of the Care Bears. It had to be the most ridiculous meeting ever. You could imagine the same thing with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teddy Ruxpin, or Full House. It is just crazy how it all happens. What with they think of next...oh..what's that...Snakes on a Plane...yeah right...what...it was already made...wow...somebody lost a job.
It was a cool morning. Unusually cool for the season. The sun was blocked by a light haze and off the coast you could see rain clouds huddling together like a flag football team planning their next secret play. The dew stood out brash and confident that it would not be beaten by the sun's warmth today. My car's windshield glistened like a bedazzled jean jacket. Today was the last chance I had with the studio executives. This was my last meeting before I ran out of money and needed to move back to Iowa. This was my worst idea yet. I didn't stand a chance.
I shake the dew from my shoes as I walk through the front doors into the lobby of the studio offices. I look down, straighten my tie, and walk with a nervous stride towards the receptionist. The oak desk stands in front of her rigid and unwelcoming, like a nightclub bouncer.
All I can see of the woman is a tower of hair signaling her presense. I almost have to look down and over the ledge to see the elderly woman sitting there. She is typing unhumanly fast, like a dog trying to dig a piece of bacon from under a hardwood floor, and keys rattle with no rest.
She then stops without warning, lowers her thin red glasses and turns her head towards me. "Are you Michael's 8:30?", she says in a voice unbefitting of her small stature.
I warble back to her "Yes", in a voice that makes you think I just crapped my pants after being chased by a feral dog and I am about to cry.
"Go ahead into the back office, he will be there in a moment", she replies, now with a look of empathy in her eyes, like she knows I have no chance. I walk back towards the giant door. I feel like Alice in Wonderland after drinking the vial of potion as the hallway seems to grow larger and more ominous as I journey towards the office. I grab the handle and glide the door open, slowly and smoothly, and take a deep breath as I walk through the archway.
The room seems so much smaller than expected. The walls are covered in photos of the actors that the studio has worked with. Posters from shows that they have produced. There is one plant stretching for a window in the corner and a bookshelf full of awards, plaques, and what looked like piles of rejected scripts in colourful hilroy duotangs. It was a monument to success bordered by colourful piles of tragic failures, like at the end of a fight to the death between two dozen clowns.
Right in the middle of the room is a long table with about 10 seats around it and a big bowl of plastic fruit in the middle. I unbutton my suit jacket and take a seat along one of the long edges, leaving the power seat, the head of the table, for Michael. My heart skips a beat as the door opens once again. Three grey suits march through it like cars on an assembly line. My hand is sweaty like a butt crack after a jog on a humid day. I wipe my hand on my pants before extending it out. I stand and greet them with as firm a hand shake as I can muster.
I slink back into my chair, sheepishly, embarrassed, and exhale a long exhausted breath. This is it. This is my chance. All three sit on the other side of the table, across from me, and stare at me like a tourist staring at Ol' Faithful, waiting for the excitement to start, but without the anticipation, as they all have been disapointed before.
I stare back at them, looking for the approval to begin. I feel like a kid who just broke something waiting to catch hell. I shift in my seat. Michael looks back at me and asks plainly, with no expection of greatness, "So what do you have for us today?"
