Monday, February 26, 2007

Mundane Events, Creative Writing - Vol. 1

The room is not quite square. Looking around I can not be totally sure any of the corners are proper right angles. The northwest corner is just a rounded corner creating a wasted space where no desk can be placed. Against the curved wall a circular clock stares longingly onto the participants of the room.

The clock is very plain with a white face and black hands and numbers. A clock that would seem as at home in a waiting room of a walk in clinic or dental office as it does here in the training room. It appears as though it would like nothing more than the day to speed along. Each second ticks by with such effort the clock seems to be growing weary of the long day still ahead.

The trainer continues to pour the information out over the room. It is soft and passive. Much like the trainer himself. A man of dark hair and a well trimmed goatee. Sitting on the edge of the desk near the south end of the room he stares down at the plain grey carpet before beginning his next sentence.

What is normally eight boisterous people in the class has shrank to six quiet and tired pupils. I fight to keep my eyes open. I shift in my chair hoping that the move will shake me loose from the strong grip of the overbearing drowsiness of the morning. My focus floats from the trainer, to my notebook in front of the computer, to the time on the computer, and slowly back to the trainer. I am losing the battle.

My eyes continue to droop. I shake my head with enough fervor to wake myself a little more but not aggressively enough to draw attention to myself. I quickly peek around the room and notice that everyone else is fighting the same demon. People's heads are swaying up and down like they arm being pushed by a warm summer breeze leaning on a wheat field.

The clock stares into the room. The morning coffee break looms on the horizon. The clock ticks and tocks with great torture. It almost screams every second as it passes. It wants a break as much as the people in the room do. I stare at it. I stare with the determination of a personal trainer squeezing the last bit of sweat from their clientèle. I want it to succeed. My eyes beg for the clock to roll the seconds over as quickly as possible.

It is just a few more minutes, just a little more time.

The trainer, now standing in front of a white board at the north end of the room, looks down at the plain grey carpet before continuing to speak. I shift again in my chair and stare into nothing trying to not let the idleness of the moment fill the room in blissful darkness.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock...I am losing the battle.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Feeling a Bit Like an Underachiever

There are some days that go by and I think about what I have done in my life.

Then I think about what I should have done in my life.

Then I think what a waste some of my choices have been.

I always felt in high school that I would amount to so much more. Something so much more exciting. That when I went back to the high school reunion I would be this great and successful person that everybody was excited to talk to and I would thrill them with all the great adventures and successes in my life.

Then I think how little I have accomplished personally in those 10 long years. I am not famous. I am not making lots of money in the top of my field. I do not have a bucket full of adventures to share with all my friends when I head home for the holidays.

Like Lola noted the other night we just sit around and talk about the glory days. The GLORY DAYS!! That means THAT was my prime and now I sit here. Here in a trailer. Here in my pajamas. I feel like I let so many people down.

Yet...

Maybe there was no expectation of me by other people. Maybe my peers in high school thought I would lead the average life and not rise above the median. Maybe that is because all I was in my GLORY DAYS was the median.

No Awards, or Accolades, or a Trophy Case and News Paper clippings of all the great things I did. I just hovered in the background letting the spotlight fall onto someone else, intentionally or otherwise. Maybe I have fulfilled those expectations of mediocrity and I don't think that is any better than not living up to my own lofty expectations.

I feel like there is so much more I should be doing. Like I should take acting classes to make up for not doing it in high school. Maybe I should try improv comedy. Maybe I should taking art classes. Maybe I should go back to school and get the degree I should have gotten in the first place.

I think the main problem is I dream big and execute small. I envision myself doing something great and then don't follow it through or just waffle to stay on the safe side rather than exposing myself.

The one thing I have learned from all my running is to set goals in small stages rather than overall huge goals. For example the big goal was to lose 60 pounds. If I would have left it at that I would have failed and fallen off the wagon already. Instead it was about setting smaller goals to lead me along the path of success.

So small goals are being achieved on a personal level but professionally I am still lagging behind. Maybe I should stay trying to focus on personal goals.

Kudos to me for running 36 Km between Monday and Friday this week including a 15 Km run on Monday - the longest continuous run of my life. I am starting to think the 1/2 marathon is a realistic achievement and the nervousness is starting to slide away.

Now only if I had a Podcast...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

With Friday Comes Goal Smashing..

Well good news came on Friday, and as per usually it comes in threes...

1. It WAS Friday...The end of the week. As Loverboy once said, "Everybody's working for the weekend."

2. I finished the first week of training for my new job. One down!!

3. I set a new personal best at the 5Km and knocked another goal of the list. I ran hard and finished the 5Km in 27:33. So in under 28:00 Minutes.

I feel good about the SunRun and that I will get that finished relatively easily, or at least comfortably. I am still worried about the Half Marathon. My goal for this week it to do one big run. A 12-14 Km should put me on pace for the big run. I also need to start doing this more consistantly or at least more often.

PS: I am still hating working out.

Monday, February 12, 2007

I'm Tired

I am tired of working out. It is so bad to be thinking this way but it is true. I am tried of working out 5-6 days a week. I am tired of running. I wish I could just fast forward all the hard work. I am sore. Legs are sore. Back is sore. Chest is sore. Brain is tired and ready to give up now.

Stupid Half Marathon. I have less than 90 days. Less than three months left. May 6th will come so quickly. I will be happy when it is over.

I am not sure about getting to 225 before my birthday either seeing as I only lost a couple pounds during January. I have about 10 pounds to lose in about 6 weeks.

Yoikes.

OK - Time to ramp back up and get focused again. Time to focus on the goals at hand. Time to stoop whining and stop trying to make excuses.

Here we go. Just 6 weeks.

I think I can, I think I can.

That date will also represent about the half way mark to the marathon date from today. Ugh. That makes me less excited for my birthday.

I think it is time for a reward. I think it is almost time for a tattoo.

In more interesting finds - there is a county in Kentucky called Letcher County. I think that is sort of neat.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Dignified and Proper...

Saturday, February 03, 2007

From J to the Mizzle to your Eyes

A - Available or Taken: If being kidnapped and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome means that I am taken then count me in.

B - Best Friend: ATB unless Lola is reading this, then Lola.

C - Cake or Pie: I think a good caramel chocolate cake trumps anything

D - Drink of Choice: With Alcohol - Smirnoff Strawberry Vodka mixed with anything. Without Alcohol - Coke Zero

E - Essential items you use Everyday: Toothbrush, Toilet Paper, Underwear (Usually Clean), my iPod

F - Favorite Color: Green, and I think Forrest or Kelly Green top that list, but I am a guy so I am incapable of seeing shades of colour, so my answer is green

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Bears - Usually they have less wriggle and therefore are less gross

H - Hometown: Windermere, BC, although is would be debatable that it is now Invermere. Maybe I should just say Lake Windermere and be done with it.

I - Indulgence: Swiss Cheese Crackers - That is a good time - and any day I am not going to the gym, oh, and sleeping in.

J - January or February: January - I likes the snow

K - Kids & Names: Who are we kidding - It would be William - but currently n/a

L - Life is incomplete without?: Laughing

M - Marriage Date - Febarchulember, 2008? - or sometime in the future.

N - Number of Siblings: 1 Brother

O - Oranges or Apples: Apples - except Granny Smith or Red Delicious - they can both go to hell.

P - Phobias or Fears: Crocodiles, Breaking my leg

Q - Fave Quote: Currently - "Times Up! Let's Do This! LEEROY JENKINS!!!"

R - Reason to Smile - Every morning I wake up next to Lola *Blush*

S - Season: Fall

T - Tag 3-4 people: ATB, Nakeisha, Hien

U - Unknown fact about me: I was born with female genitals. I have never had a pet live longer than a year.

V - Vegetable you don't like: Asparagus

W - Worst Habit: Lola would say cracking my knuckles. I say I love too much.

X - X-rays: Mouth (Dental), Ankle (Stairs), Toe (Tug-O-War gone bad), Thumb (Bike Jump Gone Bad), Chest (Pneumonia Twice)

Y - Your Fave Food: Pizza - either Papa Joe's or Me N' Ed's

Z - Zodiac Sign: Aries