Diary of a Home Run Derby
I thought I would sit down and watch the Home Run Derby and take some notes as I watched. Sort of Bill Simmons style. It really was not as interesting as I hoped but here we go!!
2007 Home Run Derby from AT&T Park in San Francisco Sponsored by Taco Bell and State Farm and Balco...what Barry Bonds is not in it, or Giambi, or Marion Jones...Ok, so Balco dropped their sponsorship.
7:03pm: The Counting Crows are on Stage to start the night. I always thought nothing would get me fired up like the Counting Crows. Actually, I thought the Counting Crows were dead. I at least now know that hippie dread locks do not hide male pattern baldness. The seas are parting up there Adam Duritz. They are surrounded by a lot of smoke from the fire works and I think that must be difficult for them to keep singing cough free. 3 seconds later I realize they are probably used to being surrounded in smoke.
7:05pm: The big opening for the derby is surrounded on the chance of balls being hit into the water and how great that would be for this year. Hey ESPN. Remember Pittsburgh last year. Yeah. They had a river several Home Runs landed in last year. News Flash: Rivers are made of WATER!!
7:07pm: Justin Morneau is introduced. Good BC boy. I wonder if this competition is a good idea with a bruised lung. I would have thought about resting it. Must be fine then.
7:08pm: Chris Berman introduced Albert Pujols as Winnie the Pujols. I can't believe how weak that was. Even for Chris Berman.
7:09pm: Prince Fielder is my pick to win the whole thing and is going hit some huge bombs along the way. I just have a soft spot for him because of his Big Daddy Cecil. There is a lot of really young big boppers in the game today.
7:10pm: Willie McCovey looks pretty good for just being a little shy of 70 years old. Those old knees of his are toast though. This leads up to one of the most awkward pre-game presentations. It didn't look like anyone knew what was supposed to happen. They should have rehersed this. Or at least talk about it before they did it.
7:14pm: Dusty "Leisure Suit Larry" Baker will be in the booth tonight. That is a pretty awful suit. I hate to say it but Baker was a pitcher killer. Prior and Woods never stood a chance.
7:15pm: ESPN Analyst Kenny Mayne is in McCovey Cove. Someone mentions he is being pushed toward some "Giant Balls". That is enough said. I really think that many drunk people in kayaks may not be the best idea.
7:17pm: Dusty Baker picks Prince Fielder to win. Well, I'm screwed.
7:18pm: Well it only took 18 minutes for the booth to mention that Pujols is mired in a homerun drought. Listen idiots. Pujols is hitting almost .400 since his last homerun. It is not like Pujols is an all or nothing hitter. Lay off him.
7:19pm: Peter Gammons - A real legend and looks great for a guy that had an aneurysm just over a year ago.
7:20pm: Rules are on the screen. A laymans translation. Make sure this lasts as close to 3 hours as possible.
7:21pm: Justin Morneau is first. I hope he can shake the Canadian Curse. Walker has done alright in the past but Jason Bay was shut out is his only HR Derby appearance. First HR for Morneau goes to the deepest part of the park. This is a pretty big park and at sea level. Justin hits 4 HR. I don't think that will cut it.
7:27pm: It seems a little strange that TSN is not using the feed of their sister station, ESPN, and showing the derby rather than SportsNet. Oh well. Side Note: ESPN's Studio Analysts have to stay in Connecticut because ESPN broke an All-Star Roster embargo agreement they had with MLB that said TBS could released the official rosters first. Whoops!!
7:30pm: Matt Holliday is up now. Berman breaks out a "National Holliday" reference. This is no better. Maybe I have matured past Berman's antics. On one of Holliday's swing he smokes the catcher on the backswing in the helmet. This was awesome and the announcers say nothing. Holliday fizzles out after a couple bombs. He hits five total. It doesn't look good for Morneau.
I really love the slow motion replays of the contact. I once had a golf teacher try and tell me that the golf swing and the baseball swing were very similar. I still laugh at that. Show me a golfer that has his hips totally open like a ball player does. Trust me. They do not mix.
7:34pm: Barry Bonds is getting interviewed by Peter Gammons. This is such a PR move by Bonds and his agent. Bonds trys to say that the homerun record is not on his mind. I call bullcorn. That is the only reason he came back. Gammons hits him with a round-a-bout steroids reference cleverly comaflouging it as a "Are you surprised by how the fans treat you?" question. Just beautiful.
7:36pm: Magglio Ordonez was hitting during the Bonds interview. He hit less than 4. Morneau still has a chance.
7:45pm: Albert Pujols is next. Instead of focusing on one of the greatest hitters in the game tonight we get to focus on an interview with Alex Rodriguez. Pujols, by the end of his career may be the greatest player to ever play the game and instead we get an interview with a disinterested A-Rod. Nice work ESPN. Pujol's hands look a little loose in the swing and is not driving through like he can. Pujols finishes with 4 HR's. Justin is still hanging on.
7:52PM: Some Blue Jay pride. I love Alex Rios but he is not built for a HR Derby. I predicts he may out up with a doughnut here. First pitch he puts out. I lost that bet. Alex's swing looks nice and compact. He is not trying to do too much. It is really a great approach. He knocks out 5. Justin's chances are getting slimmer with some big bats coming up.
At this point I am starting to wonder, with the game in San Fran and the McCovey Cove splash down that more lefties are not in the competition. Then I remember that Griffey and Bonds declined. There are two lefties right there.
8:04pm: My boy Prince Fielder is up. Look for some fire works. First swing and he looks a little amped up. That is not a good sign. He is trying too hard. He pops one up to deep right. A ball girl in the outfield almost wears it in the head as it lands right at her feet and though her legs. Why wasn't she paying attention. Prince only manages 3 HR's. My pick is out. Thanks a lot Dusty Baker and your stupid leisure suit.
8:11pm: Vladimir Guerrero Time!! Seeing him and his big out of control swings makes me long for the Expos. Ortiz stops him mid-at-bat and brings out a bat in a wood case. References to the Natural and Wonderboy fly around like Black Flys in Northern Ontario. Vlad has the most unorthadox, crazy swing in baseball but is the best bad ball hitter in baseball. You can't pitch around hit because he can go yard from any where. Vald hits 5. Morneau may be out of luck.
8:25pm: Last years Champ is up. This guys will bring some excitement. He peppered the River last year. McCovey Cove doesn't stand a chance. Zero for the first 6. Go Morneau Go!! 1 HR. Just a sneaky one over the wall. 8 Outs. 2nd HR. That was THUMPED! 9 outs with a liner off the wall. 3rd HR is pretty damn BIG! 10 Outs. Morneau is alive.
It is a good old fanshioned swing off. Morneau vs. Pujols. It is a moral dilemma. The BC boy vs. my favorite player. I guess this is a win-win situation for me. Morneau hits 1 HR and it was awesome. It sailed over the stands in right centre field and nails a cameraman in the head on the platform. Again the annoucers don't say anything. They miss all the good stuff.
Pujols goes 2 for his first 2 and ends the drama.
Round 2 starts and not a lefty bat in the bunch. I guess renting that Kayak for the cove really paid off. Good thing they are drunk. Kenny Mayne looks visably frustrated and is leaving for the left field stands. Only two balls went into the cove and both were foul.
8:41pm - Matt Holliday starts round 2. He mashes a whole bunch of those pitches. The crowd is starting to wake up a little bit.
8:50pm - I am truly surprised. Alex Rios hits a total groove and takes the outright lead going yard 12 times in round two. I am totally impressed. The swing looks great.
9:05pm - Vlad is up. I am now calling him Crazy Swing Magee. Round two is completely different than round 1 as balls are flying out all over the place (That's what she said). Vlad swings like he is trying to put out his back. He hit his 13th to eliminate Matt Holliday. A guy that looks like Dennis Martinez catches the ball. That was Vlad's last one. With that Rios has secured a place in the finals. ESPN is panicing to find information about Rios. The best the have is, "We don't know anything about him playing in Toronto". That is code for, "He doesn't play in Boston, New York, Chicago, LA, or is Barry Bonds, so we don't really care."
9:23pm - Pujols needs to hit 9 this round to force a swing off. He has 6 HR with 9 outs. Hits 1 HR. Hits another HR. Just one more to tie. The pitch. That was the swing. I cheer and yell, "That's out of here!". I was wrong. It lands on the warning track. Oh well.
It is an all American League Final. Rios vs. Vlad. Sweet Smooth Swing vs. Eratic Crazy Swing.
9:40pm - Rios looks tired and the swing is starting to look laboured. He only hits two. Both are pretty big. Vlad, Crazy Swing Magee, hits three with outs to spare. I realize it is 9:55pm. I am saddened that I have sat on the couch for close to three hours straight. I also ate an entire wheel of cheese but I am more impressed about that. BAXTER!!!
2007 Home Run Derby from AT&T Park in San Francisco Sponsored by Taco Bell and State Farm and Balco...what Barry Bonds is not in it, or Giambi, or Marion Jones...Ok, so Balco dropped their sponsorship.
7:03pm: The Counting Crows are on Stage to start the night. I always thought nothing would get me fired up like the Counting Crows. Actually, I thought the Counting Crows were dead. I at least now know that hippie dread locks do not hide male pattern baldness. The seas are parting up there Adam Duritz. They are surrounded by a lot of smoke from the fire works and I think that must be difficult for them to keep singing cough free. 3 seconds later I realize they are probably used to being surrounded in smoke.
7:05pm: The big opening for the derby is surrounded on the chance of balls being hit into the water and how great that would be for this year. Hey ESPN. Remember Pittsburgh last year. Yeah. They had a river several Home Runs landed in last year. News Flash: Rivers are made of WATER!!
7:07pm: Justin Morneau is introduced. Good BC boy. I wonder if this competition is a good idea with a bruised lung. I would have thought about resting it. Must be fine then.
7:08pm: Chris Berman introduced Albert Pujols as Winnie the Pujols. I can't believe how weak that was. Even for Chris Berman.
7:09pm: Prince Fielder is my pick to win the whole thing and is going hit some huge bombs along the way. I just have a soft spot for him because of his Big Daddy Cecil. There is a lot of really young big boppers in the game today.
7:10pm: Willie McCovey looks pretty good for just being a little shy of 70 years old. Those old knees of his are toast though. This leads up to one of the most awkward pre-game presentations. It didn't look like anyone knew what was supposed to happen. They should have rehersed this. Or at least talk about it before they did it.
7:14pm: Dusty "Leisure Suit Larry" Baker will be in the booth tonight. That is a pretty awful suit. I hate to say it but Baker was a pitcher killer. Prior and Woods never stood a chance.
7:15pm: ESPN Analyst Kenny Mayne is in McCovey Cove. Someone mentions he is being pushed toward some "Giant Balls". That is enough said. I really think that many drunk people in kayaks may not be the best idea.
7:17pm: Dusty Baker picks Prince Fielder to win. Well, I'm screwed.
7:18pm: Well it only took 18 minutes for the booth to mention that Pujols is mired in a homerun drought. Listen idiots. Pujols is hitting almost .400 since his last homerun. It is not like Pujols is an all or nothing hitter. Lay off him.
7:19pm: Peter Gammons - A real legend and looks great for a guy that had an aneurysm just over a year ago.
7:20pm: Rules are on the screen. A laymans translation. Make sure this lasts as close to 3 hours as possible.
7:21pm: Justin Morneau is first. I hope he can shake the Canadian Curse. Walker has done alright in the past but Jason Bay was shut out is his only HR Derby appearance. First HR for Morneau goes to the deepest part of the park. This is a pretty big park and at sea level. Justin hits 4 HR. I don't think that will cut it.
7:27pm: It seems a little strange that TSN is not using the feed of their sister station, ESPN, and showing the derby rather than SportsNet. Oh well. Side Note: ESPN's Studio Analysts have to stay in Connecticut because ESPN broke an All-Star Roster embargo agreement they had with MLB that said TBS could released the official rosters first. Whoops!!
7:30pm: Matt Holliday is up now. Berman breaks out a "National Holliday" reference. This is no better. Maybe I have matured past Berman's antics. On one of Holliday's swing he smokes the catcher on the backswing in the helmet. This was awesome and the announcers say nothing. Holliday fizzles out after a couple bombs. He hits five total. It doesn't look good for Morneau.
I really love the slow motion replays of the contact. I once had a golf teacher try and tell me that the golf swing and the baseball swing were very similar. I still laugh at that. Show me a golfer that has his hips totally open like a ball player does. Trust me. They do not mix.
7:34pm: Barry Bonds is getting interviewed by Peter Gammons. This is such a PR move by Bonds and his agent. Bonds trys to say that the homerun record is not on his mind. I call bullcorn. That is the only reason he came back. Gammons hits him with a round-a-bout steroids reference cleverly comaflouging it as a "Are you surprised by how the fans treat you?" question. Just beautiful.
7:36pm: Magglio Ordonez was hitting during the Bonds interview. He hit less than 4. Morneau still has a chance.
7:45pm: Albert Pujols is next. Instead of focusing on one of the greatest hitters in the game tonight we get to focus on an interview with Alex Rodriguez. Pujols, by the end of his career may be the greatest player to ever play the game and instead we get an interview with a disinterested A-Rod. Nice work ESPN. Pujol's hands look a little loose in the swing and is not driving through like he can. Pujols finishes with 4 HR's. Justin is still hanging on.
7:52PM: Some Blue Jay pride. I love Alex Rios but he is not built for a HR Derby. I predicts he may out up with a doughnut here. First pitch he puts out. I lost that bet. Alex's swing looks nice and compact. He is not trying to do too much. It is really a great approach. He knocks out 5. Justin's chances are getting slimmer with some big bats coming up.
At this point I am starting to wonder, with the game in San Fran and the McCovey Cove splash down that more lefties are not in the competition. Then I remember that Griffey and Bonds declined. There are two lefties right there.
8:04pm: My boy Prince Fielder is up. Look for some fire works. First swing and he looks a little amped up. That is not a good sign. He is trying too hard. He pops one up to deep right. A ball girl in the outfield almost wears it in the head as it lands right at her feet and though her legs. Why wasn't she paying attention. Prince only manages 3 HR's. My pick is out. Thanks a lot Dusty Baker and your stupid leisure suit.
8:11pm: Vladimir Guerrero Time!! Seeing him and his big out of control swings makes me long for the Expos. Ortiz stops him mid-at-bat and brings out a bat in a wood case. References to the Natural and Wonderboy fly around like Black Flys in Northern Ontario. Vlad has the most unorthadox, crazy swing in baseball but is the best bad ball hitter in baseball. You can't pitch around hit because he can go yard from any where. Vald hits 5. Morneau may be out of luck.
8:25pm: Last years Champ is up. This guys will bring some excitement. He peppered the River last year. McCovey Cove doesn't stand a chance. Zero for the first 6. Go Morneau Go!! 1 HR. Just a sneaky one over the wall. 8 Outs. 2nd HR. That was THUMPED! 9 outs with a liner off the wall. 3rd HR is pretty damn BIG! 10 Outs. Morneau is alive.
It is a good old fanshioned swing off. Morneau vs. Pujols. It is a moral dilemma. The BC boy vs. my favorite player. I guess this is a win-win situation for me. Morneau hits 1 HR and it was awesome. It sailed over the stands in right centre field and nails a cameraman in the head on the platform. Again the annoucers don't say anything. They miss all the good stuff.
Pujols goes 2 for his first 2 and ends the drama.
Round 2 starts and not a lefty bat in the bunch. I guess renting that Kayak for the cove really paid off. Good thing they are drunk. Kenny Mayne looks visably frustrated and is leaving for the left field stands. Only two balls went into the cove and both were foul.
8:41pm - Matt Holliday starts round 2. He mashes a whole bunch of those pitches. The crowd is starting to wake up a little bit.
8:50pm - I am truly surprised. Alex Rios hits a total groove and takes the outright lead going yard 12 times in round two. I am totally impressed. The swing looks great.
9:05pm - Vlad is up. I am now calling him Crazy Swing Magee. Round two is completely different than round 1 as balls are flying out all over the place (That's what she said). Vlad swings like he is trying to put out his back. He hit his 13th to eliminate Matt Holliday. A guy that looks like Dennis Martinez catches the ball. That was Vlad's last one. With that Rios has secured a place in the finals. ESPN is panicing to find information about Rios. The best the have is, "We don't know anything about him playing in Toronto". That is code for, "He doesn't play in Boston, New York, Chicago, LA, or is Barry Bonds, so we don't really care."
9:23pm - Pujols needs to hit 9 this round to force a swing off. He has 6 HR with 9 outs. Hits 1 HR. Hits another HR. Just one more to tie. The pitch. That was the swing. I cheer and yell, "That's out of here!". I was wrong. It lands on the warning track. Oh well.
It is an all American League Final. Rios vs. Vlad. Sweet Smooth Swing vs. Eratic Crazy Swing.
9:40pm - Rios looks tired and the swing is starting to look laboured. He only hits two. Both are pretty big. Vlad, Crazy Swing Magee, hits three with outs to spare. I realize it is 9:55pm. I am saddened that I have sat on the couch for close to three hours straight. I also ate an entire wheel of cheese but I am more impressed about that. BAXTER!!!
posted by Duncan McAllister at 9:58 p.m.
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