Witch Hunt
I thought I would save everybody a bunch of time.
Time you ask.
Yes, well, maybe not my readers but the world seems to put everything on trial so I thought I would do some of the leg work and save everybody a bunch of trouble.
Trouble you ask.
The trouble in finding all the 'gay' cartoon characters so that parents don't have to worry about their children watching them and then catching the 'gay'. Parents are desperately searching for everything 'gay' the can so they can eliminate them and save the world from the moral injustices that are being done.
Why you ask?
Because it would be a shame to teach our children tolerance and equality when we can just sweep everything under a rug. It seems that it is much easier to ignore and degrade these people than to just treat them as human beings.
Now onto the show:
The Obvious Ones: Everybody Know These Ones
Velma
Why?: Short hair, nerdy glasses, no interest in the hunk Fred. Also, those orthopedic shoes are doing nothing for her image.
Bert and Ernie
Why?: Two grown men sharing a bedroom together for that long, something has to be up. It was really just a matter of time before the closet door slide open. Also, Bert may be gruff on the inside but he is actually very gentle.
Gargamel
Why?: First of all, he lived alone with his cat and he was like 60 years old. Second, he always wore that long black dress. Not only 'gay', but a drag queen.
The Maybe Not So Obvious:
Sponge Bob Square Pants
Why?: The man, errr, sponge of much of the gay contraversy right now. His best friend is a starfish which makes him 'gay' by association. Also, not too many straight men wear lederhosen, especially square lederhosen.
Yogi Bear
Why?: Long walk on the woods with his best pal BooBoo and an unquenchable loves for romantic picnics. It is just a matter of connecting the dots on this one.
Superman
Why?: The obvious answer is of course his love of tights. Also there is his desire to pick the wussiest job out there, journalist. I mean, he could have pulled it back a bit and done some really manly jobs, like construction or a trainer at the YMCA.
Conclusion?
Again I plead that we make sure that our children are not exposed to these characters. They teach nothing but bad morals and try to turn of on our children into 'gay' bum sex worshippers.
Time you ask.
Yes, well, maybe not my readers but the world seems to put everything on trial so I thought I would do some of the leg work and save everybody a bunch of trouble.
Trouble you ask.
The trouble in finding all the 'gay' cartoon characters so that parents don't have to worry about their children watching them and then catching the 'gay'. Parents are desperately searching for everything 'gay' the can so they can eliminate them and save the world from the moral injustices that are being done.
Why you ask?
Because it would be a shame to teach our children tolerance and equality when we can just sweep everything under a rug. It seems that it is much easier to ignore and degrade these people than to just treat them as human beings.
Now onto the show:
The Obvious Ones: Everybody Know These Ones
Velma
Why?: Short hair, nerdy glasses, no interest in the hunk Fred. Also, those orthopedic shoes are doing nothing for her image.
Bert and Ernie
Why?: Two grown men sharing a bedroom together for that long, something has to be up. It was really just a matter of time before the closet door slide open. Also, Bert may be gruff on the inside but he is actually very gentle.
Gargamel
Why?: First of all, he lived alone with his cat and he was like 60 years old. Second, he always wore that long black dress. Not only 'gay', but a drag queen.
The Maybe Not So Obvious:
Sponge Bob Square Pants
Why?: The man, errr, sponge of much of the gay contraversy right now. His best friend is a starfish which makes him 'gay' by association. Also, not too many straight men wear lederhosen, especially square lederhosen.
Yogi Bear
Why?: Long walk on the woods with his best pal BooBoo and an unquenchable loves for romantic picnics. It is just a matter of connecting the dots on this one.
Superman
Why?: The obvious answer is of course his love of tights. Also there is his desire to pick the wussiest job out there, journalist. I mean, he could have pulled it back a bit and done some really manly jobs, like construction or a trainer at the YMCA.
Conclusion?
Again I plead that we make sure that our children are not exposed to these characters. They teach nothing but bad morals and try to turn of on our children into 'gay' bum sex worshippers.
posted by Duncan McAllister at 2:46 p.m.
5 Comments:
Have you noticed that every Simpsons empisode this year, as well as the new family guy and American Dad have had heavy references to all things gay?
Ever since Marge's sister came out of the closet and there was that whole controversy. Although, homer did almost cross the line a couple of years back when Marge ticked him off and he moved in with that gay couple.
The right wing in the US is coming out strong these days with George Bush at the head. They are really going overboard I think...
Here is to years of gay cartoons in the future.
On another note, I'm sure you are as happy as I am that Family guy is back on the air... I mean talk about innapropriate humour!
Last night Jesus and Chris tucker were partners in "Passion of the Christ 2". Now that is commedy.
the right wing in the US kills me. That, and the bible belt states. Man, I am ever glad to be Canadian.
I am totally stoked that Family Guy is back on the air, unforunately I was not at home to enjoy last night. I should set the VCR.
B2K,
There are two notables that you missed:
Batman and Robin:
There has always been something ambiguous and uncomfortable about this relationship...can't quite put my finger on it.
Peppermint Patty and Marcy:
Birkenstocks, Marcy always calls Patty "Sir", nothing ambiguous about that.
Lone Ranger and Tonto. Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds. Just a simple thank you will suffice. Cyril
On the Gargamel tangent--what about all the smurfs? I mean, Smurfette coulda been a total whore, but there's still a whole village of smurfs that needed to be... "serviced". I'm guessing at least half the population was a little... fruity. I mean, Painter Smurf, Poet Smurf... need I say more?
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