It Would have Seemed Weird Then

It is a spring day like every other one. There is a little breeze floating through the air and the flowers dance in the wind. The vibrant colours of spring are everywhere. The new leaves begin to hatch forth from the skeletal limbs of the trees and reach for the sky. The air is cool but not crisp. All in all it is a very comfortable day.

Two figures are standing on the top of a rolling mound in a meadow watching over the landscape. They are not looking for anything in particular, they just look and enjoy the picturesque beauty of the day. They are two men, clad in animal fur and not much more. They lean on their spears and shift slightly from foot to foot. Their hair is obviously unwashed, soap not being invented yet, and waves in clumps in the light wind. Everything seems perfect this day as they stand in silence watching over the field.

The field is a vast meadow of green grass bordered by a slow moving stream. Gophers pop up randomly sniffing the air each time. They all see their shadows, but that doesn't seem to matter since it is not Febuary and they are not groundhogs, so winter has come and gone. Birds dip and dive through the air eating as many bugs as they can and get their fill after their long flight North for the summer. Some gather on the ground and others circle above, but the movement is constant. The only other creatures roaming the field are some feral cows eating grass and lazily taking in the sun. They are pretty normal cows, black and white, and dumb as can be. Some drink from the creek and others nibble the grass and chew their cud. Just another normal day in the meadow.

As the two men look out into the meadow one looks restless, shifts on his feet and looks at his counterpart on the hill. He leans slightly back and thoughts swirl in his head. He decides, after much debate, to say something. "Ooga Ooga, Booga Booga Ooga, Booga, Ooga, Booga."

(Whoops, let me turn on the caveman translator)

"Hey Ooga, you have a Booga hanging there, take this tissue and do something about it."

"Thanks Mike, how long has it been there?"

"Ummm..Since we left."

"What!! I have had this thing hangin' here all day. We went to talk to Looga. Man, she must think I am a total geek."

"Well, she does, but that is because you do not shower."

"Oh, ok."

The conversation ends and they go back to staring out over the cattle herd. Mike begins to think again. "Hey Ooga," Mike thinks out loud, "You know how the young cavebabies drink milk from our cave women's chest sacks?"

"Yeah, I watch Looga for three hours yesterday. I miss those days when I drank all that milk," replied Ooga.

Mike looked backed puzzled and shook his head and continued, "Well since the milk seems to be so good for babies why do we stop drinking it?"

"Well, because I got too big for my mom's lap."

"What!?! Whatever. Anyways, Do you see those cows out there?"

"Yeah"

"They also feed their calves milk, but they produce way more than our cavewomen."

"So?"

"So, I think you should go down, and, well, suck on that cow's nipple."

"What? No way!!"

"Come on, it looks the same as cavewoman milk and the calves grow up so fast it has to be good."

"No way!! That's gross."

"C'mon. I won't tell anybody."

"No!!"

"C'mon, I will give you this bone neckless if you do it."

"ummm...."

"OK, I will throw in three spear heads."

"Done! Cow nipple, here I come."

So then Ooga starts to walk into the meadow and quickly sneeks up behind the herd of cows. Mike watches and giggles as he can't believe what Ooga is going to do. Ooga is going to drink cow's milk. Mike thinks to himself 'what a pervert, I am telling Looga the second we get back to cavetown.'

And that is how it started. Two cavemen in a field with nothing better to do but dare to try something gross and ever since then we have been drinking milk. It is weird to think why we do some things. Now, I dare you to suck on a bear's nipple. C'mon, they grow up to be such big and strong animals. Alright, I will give you this bone neckless and three spear heads I won once.