The Hierarchy of the Scale
There have been some great comments posted in regards to the Ni-Jerk scale which I discussed and it highlighted the points which I felt I could not truly illustrate within the text of the first article without creating something much too long and I would lose focus on the scale. Let me take a closer look at some of the finer points.
Being a Jerk:
This is a bigger definition than just how you treat people but also applies to how you deal with adversity.
Are you going to take it lying down?
Are you too nice?
You have to have some jerk in you in order to succeed. People can be nice and pleasant people to talk to but that doesn't mean they are going to let you walk past them for that promotion, the girl, or the spotlight. Being a jerk, as define in the context of this article alone, is that competitive drive and how far would you go to wipe out everyone else around you to get what you want.
In the big game you would not let that other team score just because they are friendly, and in that you are being a jerk to them. The 100% nice people would let them score, let them win, but any amount of jerk in you would play defense.
That is why 100% nice people rarely exist. Not everyone in the "Marker One" group is 100% nice all the time, they are the 81%-100% group, creating a range, a hierarchy within that group as well.
The Hierarchy of the Scale:
Each group can have a Ni-Jerk scale built within it as well. The group which seems to be garnering the most discussion is the "Marker One" group, and rightfully so. Now imagine this group is together playing Magic: The Gathering or D&D, there will still be a range of the nice to jerk within this one group. It is a hierarchy from the one who believes they are the coolest to the one that is the quietest among the group and is pick-up upon by the other M-Ones. One the Jerk end of the mini scale you will probably have the the most vocal, the leader, and the person that will usually end up being the dungeon master.
On the other end of the scale you have the quiet, nice, observant one who would want to unnoticed even within their group of peers. This person usually picks a thief character, a character useful but not expected to do big things. It is a metaphor of how they view themselves.
The key of people being in this group is that when you expose them to an environment filled with all the other "M" groups, they will fall into their larger subgroup, of M-One. Also true if you take the biggest jerk of the M-One group and put them alone with a whole bunch of M-Twos. They are going to now be the quiet ones trying to not be noticed, trying to slink away, and will only act when they are truly called upon. The key with the scale is that once a group is exposed to the whole they will take the general characteristics of their defined scale point.
Mob Rule:
There is power in numbers and it can affect where people will fall on the scale. Even M-ones can appear to be bigger jerks than they actually are when the have a group to back them up. This is the rule on which the Jock, the M-Four group, survive. It is the power of numbers and in large enough groups it appears that everyone moves up a notch on the scale. The other important piece to this is the higher on the Ni-Jerk scale you are, the more numbers you need to be a jerk. A 'M-One' alone will go unnoticed but even is a group as large as 4 people they may still be toppled be a single M-Four. On the other hand if you have 10 M-Ones gathered in one place you can be sure that no M-Four will go near that group, out of either fear or smarts, but they know where the breaking point is.
Wolf in Sheeps Clothing:
The advantage of being higher on the scale in that you possess an ability to adapt the different environments and groups. It is not that hard for a M-Four to pass themselves off as a M-Two, especially if they are the only M-Four around. They are the wolf in sheeps clothing and this can serve them in many ways, especially academically. They are easily expose when cornered though. This is the case where you think you have run into a jerk M-One or M-Two but it is much more likely that it is a higher level jerk masquerading as an M-One.
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?:
This only applies to the 100% nice guys. Guys that are M-Ones and can not adapt themselves out of that group. This is a very small portion of the population. This goes back to the first chapter, that people are rarely 100% nice all the time. People that are like this will also finish last because they never take control and never stand up for themselves. They are constantly ran over, looked over, passed over, and will not do anything about it because, they are what we call in the business, too nice. They finish last in all aspects of life, looked over in love or have their true love stolen from them, have their good ideas stolen and used for someone else's promotion, and will be crowded out at social events, left to leave out the back door. Over the years, especially after the highschool years, people in the this group will grow more confident and move up the scale to have great success.
You Don't Wear Concrete Shoes:
You are never relegated to one part of the scale and are free to move around. It can be a question of nature versus nurture in this case but ultimately you have a choice where you would like to be. The most famous example of this is Bill Gates. This guy screams M-One and looks like he has been pushed around a few times but look at him now. Based on how he runs business he is probably high end scale M-Four. He is confident is not afraid to push people around. You do not get to have a monopoly as long as he did without pushing a few people around, without being a jerk.
Making the change in scale is a very tough one though and does take time. You can not decide one day to go from an M-One to an M-Four, as you will have to reinvent your attitudes your image to be part of that group. The transition can also move in both directions as M-Fives can realize one day what a jerk they have been and try to move down the scale, but again it takes a lot time since a lot of trust have been lost. That is why the easiest time to make a transition in the scale is the move from high school to university, where you have an entirely new social scale to climb and grow with.
These Are Not Clubhouses:
Now all of the groups definitely feel more comfortable around people in the same M-Group but that does not mean that everyone you know, and are friends with, are from the same group. Yes, jocks and will tend to group together with other jocks and nerd with other nerds, but that doesn't mean they do not have friends in other groups. It will ultimately be to ones advantage to have friends in all five of the groups.
Skeletons:
In the end you do fall on one part of the scale and you have probably learned to fit in with other groups on the scale but you will never truly lose what you were when you grow up. Parts of that old personality will also come out be part of your new personality. The number of parts of the scale you understand the greater in life you will be. You will have more success, more love, more fun. It is those people who finish first. The ones who understand all of the groups on the scale, know when to push, know when to be pushed, and know how to take advantage of all the M-Groups.
Being a Jerk:
This is a bigger definition than just how you treat people but also applies to how you deal with adversity.
Are you going to take it lying down?
Are you too nice?
You have to have some jerk in you in order to succeed. People can be nice and pleasant people to talk to but that doesn't mean they are going to let you walk past them for that promotion, the girl, or the spotlight. Being a jerk, as define in the context of this article alone, is that competitive drive and how far would you go to wipe out everyone else around you to get what you want.
In the big game you would not let that other team score just because they are friendly, and in that you are being a jerk to them. The 100% nice people would let them score, let them win, but any amount of jerk in you would play defense.
That is why 100% nice people rarely exist. Not everyone in the "Marker One" group is 100% nice all the time, they are the 81%-100% group, creating a range, a hierarchy within that group as well.
The Hierarchy of the Scale:
Each group can have a Ni-Jerk scale built within it as well. The group which seems to be garnering the most discussion is the "Marker One" group, and rightfully so. Now imagine this group is together playing Magic: The Gathering or D&D, there will still be a range of the nice to jerk within this one group. It is a hierarchy from the one who believes they are the coolest to the one that is the quietest among the group and is pick-up upon by the other M-Ones. One the Jerk end of the mini scale you will probably have the the most vocal, the leader, and the person that will usually end up being the dungeon master.
On the other end of the scale you have the quiet, nice, observant one who would want to unnoticed even within their group of peers. This person usually picks a thief character, a character useful but not expected to do big things. It is a metaphor of how they view themselves.
The key of people being in this group is that when you expose them to an environment filled with all the other "M" groups, they will fall into their larger subgroup, of M-One. Also true if you take the biggest jerk of the M-One group and put them alone with a whole bunch of M-Twos. They are going to now be the quiet ones trying to not be noticed, trying to slink away, and will only act when they are truly called upon. The key with the scale is that once a group is exposed to the whole they will take the general characteristics of their defined scale point.
Mob Rule:
There is power in numbers and it can affect where people will fall on the scale. Even M-ones can appear to be bigger jerks than they actually are when the have a group to back them up. This is the rule on which the Jock, the M-Four group, survive. It is the power of numbers and in large enough groups it appears that everyone moves up a notch on the scale. The other important piece to this is the higher on the Ni-Jerk scale you are, the more numbers you need to be a jerk. A 'M-One' alone will go unnoticed but even is a group as large as 4 people they may still be toppled be a single M-Four. On the other hand if you have 10 M-Ones gathered in one place you can be sure that no M-Four will go near that group, out of either fear or smarts, but they know where the breaking point is.
Wolf in Sheeps Clothing:
The advantage of being higher on the scale in that you possess an ability to adapt the different environments and groups. It is not that hard for a M-Four to pass themselves off as a M-Two, especially if they are the only M-Four around. They are the wolf in sheeps clothing and this can serve them in many ways, especially academically. They are easily expose when cornered though. This is the case where you think you have run into a jerk M-One or M-Two but it is much more likely that it is a higher level jerk masquerading as an M-One.
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?:
This only applies to the 100% nice guys. Guys that are M-Ones and can not adapt themselves out of that group. This is a very small portion of the population. This goes back to the first chapter, that people are rarely 100% nice all the time. People that are like this will also finish last because they never take control and never stand up for themselves. They are constantly ran over, looked over, passed over, and will not do anything about it because, they are what we call in the business, too nice. They finish last in all aspects of life, looked over in love or have their true love stolen from them, have their good ideas stolen and used for someone else's promotion, and will be crowded out at social events, left to leave out the back door. Over the years, especially after the highschool years, people in the this group will grow more confident and move up the scale to have great success.
You Don't Wear Concrete Shoes:
You are never relegated to one part of the scale and are free to move around. It can be a question of nature versus nurture in this case but ultimately you have a choice where you would like to be. The most famous example of this is Bill Gates. This guy screams M-One and looks like he has been pushed around a few times but look at him now. Based on how he runs business he is probably high end scale M-Four. He is confident is not afraid to push people around. You do not get to have a monopoly as long as he did without pushing a few people around, without being a jerk.
Making the change in scale is a very tough one though and does take time. You can not decide one day to go from an M-One to an M-Four, as you will have to reinvent your attitudes your image to be part of that group. The transition can also move in both directions as M-Fives can realize one day what a jerk they have been and try to move down the scale, but again it takes a lot time since a lot of trust have been lost. That is why the easiest time to make a transition in the scale is the move from high school to university, where you have an entirely new social scale to climb and grow with.
These Are Not Clubhouses:
Now all of the groups definitely feel more comfortable around people in the same M-Group but that does not mean that everyone you know, and are friends with, are from the same group. Yes, jocks and will tend to group together with other jocks and nerd with other nerds, but that doesn't mean they do not have friends in other groups. It will ultimately be to ones advantage to have friends in all five of the groups.
Skeletons:
In the end you do fall on one part of the scale and you have probably learned to fit in with other groups on the scale but you will never truly lose what you were when you grow up. Parts of that old personality will also come out be part of your new personality. The number of parts of the scale you understand the greater in life you will be. You will have more success, more love, more fun. It is those people who finish first. The ones who understand all of the groups on the scale, know when to push, know when to be pushed, and know how to take advantage of all the M-Groups.
posted by Duncan McAllister at 1:59 p.m.
3 Comments:
Duncan: As a "nice" guy, I suggest your scale be changed from Ni-Jerk to Je-Nice. Cyril
Thanks for the clarification! Wow...very thorough response...i'm gonna leave it there!
On a completely different topic...are you organizing a March Madness pool again this year? If you do...can I play!?
Tuesdays With Morrie - great book! Have you read The Five People You Meet In Heaven?
T
I am not sure on the ncaa pool yet. Depends on interest.
I have not read 5 people - just thought I would catch the buzz on Morrie and see what that is all about.
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